[ Relocating 3,000 Polar Bears ]

Thanks to Al Gore and the unforgettable image of a polar bear drowning in globally- warmed waters, the Polar Bear Conservancy will begin relocating 3,000 polar bears from the Arctic to Antarctica over the next 5 years at a cost of $10,000 per bear.

No word, yet, on how such a move will affect local ecosystems, but McCain and the Oil Lobby immediately approved the idea, the latter saying it would accelerate drilling in the region.